afailedmurder | [nope] Killing night 12

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[nope] Killing night 12 - Shuichi

[Akechi is taking Baxter out for one last walk before he holes up, which is to say he's lurking around the infirmary without going in until the raccoons start badgering him. It's only when he catches Shuichi's eye that he tries to act cool and casual about it.]

Good evening, Saihara-kun! I'm not interested in exploring tonight, but if you need an alibi, you can drop by my room.

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I'm not sure I'm very good at that, but...

[he takes another bundle of money out and removes the band, spreading it across his lap this time, considering]

It's somewhat difficult to put into words, but anybody can do it. Imagine, say... that there is no world outside of this room. For all we know, there isn't; we are mere cavemen staring at shadows on the wall, after all, imprisoned by our own perceptions of reality.

[he rips a bill in half and tosses it aside]

Your natural inclination will be to despair at the thought of that ever-gaping void, but there's no point to that. There's no point to anything. Don't shy away from that fact. Embrace it. Because even if the world is a void, your ego still exists within that void. By your very existence, you defy the the cold, callous universe. Your thoughts, your will, your actions; those things still belong to you.

[rips another]

Let that empower you and you can do anything. Don't think. Don't worry about what I'll think. You can do anything you want tonight — to this room, to this money, to me.

[rrrip]

[he was mostly with him up until the end there, but then he crinkles some of the bills in his hands as his fists tighten automatically]

I’m not going to—! Of course I’m going to think about you!

Fair enough, I suppose. Truthfully, I'm thinking about you, too.

[tosses his current wad of cash aside]

You can still do whatever you want.

S-Still... I'm not going to just do whatever I want... to you...

Is that so? My, the things going through your head must be very interesting.

[picks up another money stack and pokes him with it]

[he jumps, and some of the money spread in his lap falls off onto the bed or the floor]

I-It's not like that...!

[it's a little like that]

I just... if I just did whatever I wanted without caring what you thought or how you felt... That would be terrible. And I'd feel terrible.

Edited 2018-01-20 06:35 (UTC)

You really are sweet. That's a rare quality.

[tries to make himself some origami, though the only thing he actually knows how to make is a crane and money is the wrong shape for it]

Right now, I think I'd do anything you asked of me. Most people would take advantage of that.